RaveVlog

Any relationship expert will tell you that communication is crucial for lasting love, which is why transforming your spare room into an art studio behind your wife's back isn't recommended—especially if there is another man involved.

One Redditor found this out the hard way, after gifting his friend their spare room as a "birthday present." Posting to Reddit's AmItheA****** forum on August 7, user spareroom-throwaway explained that he and his wife had been debating what to do with the extra room for the past two years, but had been unable to come to a decision.

"We've gone back and forth since we moved in two+ years ago about what we wanted to do with it, but we never took the initiative to actually implement any of these plans," he wrote.

"We already have a sufficient number of guest rooms and an office so the room just sits there, unutilized."

The Redditor made a "new friend" recently, "Ben," who he "connected" with the moment they met. Not having had many close male friends before, spareroom-throwaway says the relationship is "especially important" to him.

"The conversation flowed so easily, we had loads in common," he said.

"I didn't think such a huge amount of genuine love and respect for a person could be developed in less than a year, but it's been very cool to experience that and get to know him."

The pair bonded over their shared love of art and music, with Ben being a talented painter. As his birthday is coming up soon, the Redditor decided to turn the spare room into an art studio he could share with his friend, on top of a $3,400 pair of Gucci Jordaan crocodile loafers he'd already purchased.

Unfortunately for him, his wife was not happy with the idea.

"I already ordered a few things for it and was getting ready to jump into painting the walls when my wife came in and demanded to know what I was doing. I explained that I was finally fixing up the spare room," he wrote.

"She said it was unacceptable I had done this without confirming with her that it was okay, but I didn't think I would need to since it's been two years and the room has basically never been touched."

A poll by YourTango revealed that communication difficulties are the number one reason for divorce. Of the 100 mental health professionals surveyed, 65 percent said issues with communication were the most common contributor to a split. This was followed by the inability to solve conflict at 43 percent.

The study also discovered that men and women have different complaints when it comes to communication. Nagging from their partners was a male patient's biggest communication complaint, according to 70 percent of experts, while 83 percent said female patients believe their emotions or opinions are invalidated by their partner.

Not listening or "talking about himself too much" were also commonly cited communication problems by women, said 56 percent of the experts surveyed.

Since sharing his story, spareroom-throwaway's post has received more than 8,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments, many from Redditors bashing his decision.

"This is not just about fixing up a room," said claireclairey. "This is about allowing your friend part ownership and control over a place in your house you share with your WIFE. What were you going to do, give him a key?"

RndmIntrntStranger agreed, writing: "If I were the wife, I would be thinking long and hard about having a spouse who gives open access to my home to someone he has only known for only eight months."

While Elinesbendsen commented: "Gifting him a room in his and his wife's home, and giving him a key, and allowing him to come over and use the room whenever—even if the wife is home alone and wants some privacy or quiet time. That's a whole other level."

Some users wondered if the poster had feelings for his friend and just haven't realized it yet.

"You don't give a whole room to someone to use at will that you just met," said farsical111. "...unless you're naive about friendship or have an unadmitted crush on the guy."

Jtgibggt wrote: "He's also practically love-bombing this guy, not in a manipulative way but in a WAY over the top way. My sister did this when she first realized she had feelings for her friend of the same sex in her mid 20s."

In an update in the comments, spareroom-throwaway said he'd taken fellow Redditors' comments regarding his sexuality on board, and was now considering a separation from his wife while he figures things out.

Responding to a user sharing their own coming out journey, he said: "I'm taking everyone's advice into consideration and will be having conversations with them both soon. I just don't know how to go about that yet."

Newsweek has reached out to spareroom-throwaway for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

");jQuery(this).remove()}) jQuery('.start-slider').owlCarousel({loop:!1,margin:10,nav:!0,items:1}).on('changed.owl.carousel',function(event){var currentItem=event.item.index;var totalItems=event.item.count;if(currentItem===0){jQuery('.owl-prev').addClass('disabled')}else{jQuery('.owl-prev').removeClass('disabled')} if(currentItem===totalItems-1){jQuery('.owl-next').addClass('disabled')}else{jQuery('.owl-next').removeClass('disabled')}})}})})

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7r7HWrK6enZtjsLC5jqaYp2Wjqa6zwNJmn6ito5p6sb7Oo5ycrF2jsrh5xaugnqaUYq%2BmtMinm2avmZuytHnBmpqkZWFsgHKClHE%3D